TRE for Abuse and Bullying
No one should have to endure abuse and bullying, either physically, mental or emotional. Sadly we hear all too often on the news and read so much in the papers of tragic cases. It is all the more painful when babies and children are involved.
Studies have shown that when a child endures bullying and abuse it can lead to adult illness. The stress and anxiety that is held in the body for many years takes it toll.
TRE is now helping many adults recover from the effects of an abusive childhood. Also adults that are in abusive relationships or have been victims of abuse and have to recover from the trauma have found release with TRE.
There is much in the press on childhood abuse. Recent research highlights the link between childhood abuse, anxiety disorders and inflamatory bowel disease including IBS you can read of the study here.
‘I originally joined one of Caroline’s Yoga classes. I had seen TRE on her website but the yoga class initially seemed less threatening. I hadn’t attended any activity outside of work since 2006 so it was a big step for me to take. After a number of weeks attending the yoga class, I felt exhausted and unable to continue but thought I may consider TRE in the New Year. I e-mailed Caroline explaining my situation and later that day I had my first TRE class.
I’ve been stuck in a cycle of self-destructive behaviour since the age of 15 (I’m now 33). Initially, I struggled with anorexia; moving into bulimia; into cutting (self-harming); to compulsive shopping and online gambling.
My history is complicated but to keep it short. My Dad has suffered mental health problems most of my life and because of this, I was a withdrawn and compliant child and an easy target. The main trauma was being targeted by a gang of boys at secondary school. I was sexually assaulted nearly every day at school for 3 years at its worst being gang raped on 4 occasions. Sexual bullying is such a taboo subject. The school branded me ‘hypersensitive’ and my Dad unable to cope with it emotionally disowned me. Whilst the sexual assaults came to light while I was at school I wasn’t able to talk of the gang rapes until 18 months ago. This was compounded by losing my Gran to cancer at the age of 15 and my Dad suffering a heart attack and cardiac arrest two weeks before my 17th birthday. I felt like I was being punished for what had happened.
I’ve felt like I’ve been on a mission to prove everyone wrong. Those who branded me hypersensitive, those who said I would never get a qualification, to those who said I would never hold a job down. Whilst my personal life has been nearly non-existent I have managed a successful career but I felt I was going through the motions of daily life and not really living. I felt like I was stuck in a bubble unable to reach out and connect with anyone or anything. I’d been in different talking therapies since I was 15 and tried anti-depressants on 5/6 occasions which just made my symptoms worse. I began seeing my current counsellor 2 years ago, who is a trauma specialist, using EMDR.
The EMDR really helped me but the TRE has helped me take another step forward; to reconnect with my body and find my voice. I used to be physically unable to move and often unable to speak when experiencing flashbacks. I am calmer and less overwhelmed on a day to day basis and my sleep pattern has improved. I feel more alert and more able to connect and interact with people. In a way TRE is like waking up and coming out of a fog; the world seems brighter. TRE also helped me whilst making a significant career change. I’d been stuck in my job for 9 years, burning out after the first 2, but still battling on. For the first time, I’m making a choice for me.
Physically I have hypermobile joints which required surgery on my knee which subsequently caused my lower back to become unstable. The pain and stiffness has definitely eased somewhat since doing TRE. I was suffering regular headaches and reflux both of which have reduced since doing the TRE. I also suffer with vaginismus because of the assaults I suffered (yet another taboo subject) but I’m hopeful the TRE will help with that too – only time will tell.
Although there were males present in the group with Caroline’s reassurance that I was safe helped me through. Even when difficult memories came up I still felt better overall. All I really want to say is that I thought things could never get better and that I was an unfixable freak. I gave TRE a chance because I’d got nothing to lose and I gained a valuable tool to help me take control of my future.’
N C – Kent
4 Months Later
Just a quick note to let you know I’m okay after the recent session. Well a lot more than okay. I know you never know what will happen with TRE but that was such a powerful experience on Thursday. I do have a dissociative disorder and due to that, I have different “parts”. I fought against it for a long time. Facing up to and processing the trauma memories has been challenging but in the last 3-4 weeks, one specific “part” disappeared. I have been struggling with another “part” but it was like we made peace in the TRE session on Thursday. ‘She’ seems to have gone too now.
It’s really hard to explain what it’s like but the main thing is I have always thought of myself as “She”. The major change is that I’m now able to think and feel for myself. I feel, I think, etc, which is so different. It’s challenging. There had been an improvement before but since Thursday it has been very different. My head is usually noisy but it’s not now. I’ve never experienced a quiet stillness like Thursday brought about. Thank you. NC
6 Months Later
Well it’s been an eventful few days. I was more settled on Saturday but Sunday things started to fall apart again. I’ve struggled for a long time with a memory from my childhood which I thought couldn’t be real/was my imagination. I spent hours Sunday afternoon on the internet trying to find out if the place I remembered was real without any success. Yesterday afternoon I went back there. I’ve been back previously but never managed to get out the car. Yesterday I did get out the car and followed the footpath and found it was a real place. It’s horrific to remember what happened there but too the sense of relief is overwhelming. I’m not imagining these horrible things and places. I’m plain exhausted today but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. For the first time I actually feel/know I’m not bad and that I did nothing wrong. I can’t describe what that feels like.
I know I’ve still got a long way to go but I never thought I’d be able to explain to anyone what happened that night and be believed. NC
‘Since learning TRE with Caroline I have gone through changes that have been astonishing. I seem to make people nervous because they can see I am just not the same person. what I have noticed includes…
Reduced hypersensitivity, reduced anger, more movement in my shoulders, ability to do many things which I originally feared. Not needing to talk about things anymore, able to deal with emotional pain more easily, more sense of purpose for the future, increased productivity in work and able to release resentments easily these are just some of the things .
There is a side of TRE that is a bit scary for me right now. I have realised as the process progresses suddenly the world is becoming a really different place. As my body is changing so is my behaviour and how I am thinking.
Suddenly people and situations I was comfortable with I am not anymore as my outlook is rapidly changing events are not happening like they used to anymore. People react to me differently it can be a bit anxiety provoking sometimes but I guess its fear of the unknown but I know it’s all positive change. I am anticipating it could be a bumpy ride though!’ Terry – London