A client recently shared that she had to say goodbye to her 12-year-old son who was heading off from the country where they live to Boarding school in the UK. I understand how she feels. One of mine went off at the age of 11 to pursue his love of dance. I also taught in a Military Boarding school for 12 years and witnessed the impact, particularly in the early weeks of the pupils. This Blog is about the impact as a child leaves home and  how to navigate the pain of separation

For whatever reason the decision to send a child to boarding school either in their home country or another is often made with the best intentions. Navigating the pain of separation for both the mother and child, can be a deeply challenging experience.  This can often marked by feelings of worry, and, a sense of abandonment. As parents, we want to give our children the best opportunities—a world-class education, new cultural experiences, and a pathway to success. But there’s a side to this journey that many overlook: the emotional toll it can take on both parent and child. Especially when distance and time create a gap that love alone can’t bridge.

Many parents make sacrifices to financially afford the school fees for their child’s education. However, there are those for whom money is not a barrier.  I share an interesting article on the impact of Boarding Schools on children from wealthy families.

The Impact on all:

One of the most poignant reflections I have encountered on this topic I share in my book ‘Feel It to Heal It’. A former boarding school student describes his experience of separation: ‘The hardest part wasn’t the leaving; it was the emptiness that set in once I realised there was no going back. I felt abandoned—not just by my family, but by myself.’

For a mother, sending her child away can trigger a profound sense of loss. There’s the worry about whether they are coping, feeling supported, or emotionally equipped to handle the pressure of living independently. The guilt of not being physically there to comfort them during difficult times can weigh heavily. This can sometimes lead to stress, insomnia, and a lingering feeling of helplessness.

For the child, the experience of adapting to a new environment without the familiar reassurance of home can be overwhelming. The absence of immediate parental support can heighten feelings of vulnerability, especially when homesickness sets in. While some children eventually adapt and thrive, others may quietly endure feelings of abandonment and isolation.  Emotions that, left unchecked, can shape their sense of self and well-being well into adulthood.

Offering guidance and a solution:

In my role as a global health empowerment visionary, I see the longer-term effects of these experiences. The separation does not just end when they return home during holidays or after graduation; it often leaves a residual impact on mental, emotional, and even physical health in later years. This is why learning strategies to navigate the pain of separation is key. There are ways to support both mother and child in navigating these challenges to prevent the severity of the impact on health.

The first step is to recognise the emotional impact. This is not simply about academics; it’s about emotional resilience. Parents can create safe, open channels of communication that allow their child to express feelings freely. This will serve to reassure them that even though they are apart, they are supported. Regular check-ins, sharing letters, and creating routines, such as weekly video calls, can help maintain a sense of connection.

From my years of experience in empowering clients seeking to take control of their health, I know tension from stress and trauma gets stored in the core of the body.  No matter what strategies are adopted to maintain some sanity, tension will impact overall physical, mental and emotional health in the long run. The Total Release Experience® Programme educates and empowers how to access the innate and natural ability we all have to Release.  In so doing we will heal from the past and build resilience for the future. It is a wonderful gift that we all have to manage the debilitating impact of stress and trauma.

Embracing the benefits:

Take time to release and manage built-up stress for it is essential for both. The Total Release Experience® is unique to TRE UK®.  The process allows both mother and child to let go of stored tension from separation anxiety. This method will give individuals a safe way to release the deep-rooted stress often carried in their bodies, fostering resilience and restoring a sense of balance.

My client shared ‘I have been dealing with a ton of emergencies with my family. Honestly, I don’t know how I’d be functioning if I didn’t have my TRE UK  life tool at my disposal. I use it twice a week right now. It has saved me and whilst I’m still under massive amounts of stress at least I’m still functioning. My son started boarding school today, it is hard for me as he’s just 12.  So far the news has been positive so that’s good. One day at a time right?’

I am delighted that she is navigating the pain of separation.  When we acknowledge the complexities of these experiences, we give ourselves—and our children—the space to navigate them. Do this with compassion and understanding. After all, the strongest foundations for success are built not just on knowledge and experience.  Our mission is to ensure that everyone knows they have a choice when it comes to embracing optimum health. We can all thrive, no matter where in the world life may take us.